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First World Problems

By Beyond Law,

I love to sleep on planes.
No, you don’t understand.
I mean, I looooooovvvvvve it, as much as the trip.

Once I went to Dubai, a 16 hour plane ride.
It was a lovely flight, Veuve Cliquot champagne on a spigot, huge seats and my own pod that had space enough to lie down flat.
I swear, I thought the flight itself was my vacation.

I love the airplane’s white noise — no cell phones.
I read. I meditate. I sleep. I sleep. I read. I meditate.
I wrap myself in one of my wraps, have water, recline the seat and have fabulous, true down time.
That was how my air travel has been for as long as I can remember, until my last trip from Atlanta.

I had a talkative seat mate, the kiss of death, but I had bought new ear buds – Skullcandy, mostly because I liked the basketball player who was on the ads.
He had a really full beard and seemed edgy.
I felt edgy buying them.
More importantly, they were awesome – they had great sound and diverted my yakky seat mate to others.

So, I mute my seat mate with my Skullcandy ear buds.
I get out my hermetically sealed blanket, and wait for the cabin to pressurize.
Here I come, Happy Place.
Typically, about 15 minutes into the flight, I recline my seat, stretch my legs and expect bliss.

Seconds before this flight was to take off, the woman behind me who had purchased a first-class seat for her baby, informed me that the baby seat prevented me from reclining during our nearly five-hour flight.

I had difficulty understanding what she was saying.
I literally could not comprehend.
And then I did, and I got Cookie from Empire hot!
Wait a minute, let me get this straight – you buy a first-class seat for your baby, and it prevents ME from reclining? (I said in my head.)

It took the entire flight for me to choose something other than anger.
Anger had me and it was eating at my soul like a vulture.
I gave the parents who deprived me the evil eye, which they ignored. Besides, my evil eye needs work.

The baby pulled me out of it. I heard him gurgling behind me and took a look. Of course, he was gorgeous, about 10 months. I am certain his last name was Gerber.

And then it came to me, does my connection to Peace depend on my seat reclining?
Am I that superficial?

As the plane began to land safely in beautiful San Diego, I said a prayer of gratitude and let go of my first world problem.